lazy rainy day

Ever since we got back from our beach vacation we have had lazy days. And they have been so nice! Allie has either played in her play room or wandered around the house. I say wander like she has no idea where she is going, when it is us that are the clueless ones. That girl is on a mission from the moment she gets up in the morning until she goes to bed at night. She knows when she wants to go and where. I love watching her face light up as she walks around the house and does her thing. It rained for the majority of the day here and playing with my little girl was exactly what I needed. I'm so very thankful that I get to stay home with my baby girl. All I have ever wanted to be was a stay at home mom and I love every lazy day.

I am trying to figure out when I need to start working with Allie on different skills she will need so I can have her ready for kindergarten in three and a half years. Where did the first year and a half of my baby's life go? I haven't missed a single tear, a new food, a new skill mastered, but it feels as though the time is flying by. She is so busy and is learning so much, I just want to make sure I am doing everything as her mommy that I am supposed to be doing to prepare her for life. I watch her as she learns new things and I smile knowing she is right where she needs to be. But then the fear I am sure every mom experiences sets in. Is she really where she needs to be? Is she mastering the skills she is supposed to? Is mom365 really accurate or are they talking about the super advanced toddlers? All I want is for her to be learning and growing just as she should be. I follow Kelly's Korner blog and if you haven't ever read it, you should check it out! (www.kellyskornerblog.com) She said in a post the other day she would rather her kids love Jesus and be kind to others than to be the smartest kid in the class. I totally agree with this, but a part of me wants them to maybe be a little bit above where they should be academically. I want my baby girl to be successful and to go on to be whatever God has created her to be. I know she will need to graduate high school and go on to college to be the successful girl he designed her to become. As a former kindergarten teacher I know what she needs to know by the time she starts school. I know the skills she must master to be successful there and into first grade. However I want her to still be a baby too. I want her to play and have fun, be creative and enjoy being little. I know that school won't always be enjoyable for her and I want her to have fun learning memories with me at home. It's funny I was always an advocate for public school. Teachers are like me, they care about their students and want only what is best for them. They will carry them from the playground the office when they fall at recess, skin their knee and are crying. <--- definitely did that with one of my little ones. :) But after talking with my best friend, whose daughter unfortunately has not had such luck, I find myself toying with an idea I have been against my whole life... home school. There are so many advantages and disadvantages to both. Do I want my daughter to be a social outcast? No. Do I think it would be waaaaaay cooler to SEE the American Symbols rather than learn about them based on a picture? Yes. Two of my first year kids are homeschooled. Both because they were not being challenged enough in the regular classroom. I know each and every child is different. I know they all have different needs that need to be met. But I can say I have a fear that what if my baby is the one that falls on the play ground, is crying and just needs a hug and to maybe be carried to the office for a band-aid? And what if the teacher she has tells her, "We are going inside in five minutes. You can wait." Irrational? Maybe. But something I have been thinking about lately.
I love my little baby with all of my heart and I will do anything and everything I can to make sure she is the most successful where ever she is, whether that is in a public or private school or at home with me. Guess I need to do some praying and trust that God will lead Nick and I to the right decision for our baby girl.

So right now I am relishing in the fact that I have at least three and a half more years at home with my princess (that is if I decide not to put her in preschool... eek! another fear!) before I have to make the decision. I am enjoying these lazy days where I watch her innocent eyes take in our home and watch with amazement as she discovers opening cabinets and moving the blinds to see outside.

Love. Love her, love my job, love my life.